Talk:Partnership for a Drug-Free America
First (instructor) evaluation comments
Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the sections you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the bibliography, related articles, and external links subpages.
- The intro section is off to a good start; you might just work on simplifying the sentence structure a little bit to make it more reader friendly.
- You might flesh out your discussion of the Partnership's founding a bit by providing more information about the historical context in which it was founded, the motivation behind it, and the steps that were taken by O'Reilly to get it off the ground. Similarly, while it might seem obvious, it would be a good idea to spell out things like why the "this is your brain on drugs" campaign was so effective in raising the Partnership's public profile.
- The "Current Campaigns and Programs" section is very effectively organized; the next step, then, is to elaborate a bit more on each of the bolded points. For example, what steps are being taken to advance the "Parents Campaign"? What is the organization doing to increase inhalants awareness?
- Throughout the article, you might put double square brackets ( i.e. [[ ]] ) around key terms to create internal links to other Citizendium articles; e.g. methamphetamine, George H. W. Bush
Shamira Gelbman 03:02, 5 October 2009 (UTC)
Second (peer) evaluation comments
The history section addresses the foundation of the organization, while observing the philosophy under which the group had originally operated. However, in the Current Campaigns and Programs section there are a few grammatical errors which should be corrected. The information is interesting and presented in a way which is direct and easily understood. You could add more detail about the specific program operations as you list them, such as highlighting the recent events or actions with which the Meth program has been involved. Additionally, the entry seems to have a few areas that have not been fully addressed, such as the organizational structure and achievements sections.
You do a nice job of introducing the subject, but just need to add more information about the organization. Looking into who makes up the key staff figures of each program would be a good place to start, or follow up on some the examples you mention. The steroid perception research study that was initiated by PDFA would be a good example of an opportunity for a follow up, respective to the current state of the investigation.
Victor De Los Santos 04:50, 2 November 2009 (UTC)