Talk:Violence Policy Center
First (instructor) evaluation comments
Here are some suggestions for further improvement to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the section you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.
- The intro is off to a pretty good start; however, you might explain a bit more about what you mean by considering gun violence a public health issue in addition to a crime issue.
- Overall, the information contained in the "current objectives and activities" section could be much more reader-friendly. There's a bit too much going on in each paragraph and the second one, especially, seems to be more of a list of events than an explanation of what the VPC is currently doing.
Shamira Gelbman 01:03, 5 October 2009 (UTC)
Second (peer) evaluation comments
The article contains a lot of good information.
You should add subsections or paragraph divisions to divide up the information in each section. Some contain too much information and it'd be easier to find things in the text.
Some of the achievements should be explained in more detail just to give an example as to what the group is doing.
The article isn't hard to understand if there is no extensive prior knowledge.
If the informations available, you could add how the VPC works with or against other related interest groups like the NRA or their relationship with these groups.
Overall, the article has most of the information there. It just needs to be cleaned up and organized a little. Good job!